I have learned many lessons in my life.........some easily, some the hard way, but none as wisely conveyed as those from the seniors that have blessed my journey. My Mom and Dad of course were my first authority figures, but there have been others along the way who hold a special place in teaching me how to follow the path laid out before me.
The most lasting lessons for me have been those that have just seeped into my personality like a gentle breeze or soothing wave lapping over the sand, churning it and rearranging it, but leaving it smooth and in order. In the end, the lessons have left me a civil person, wanting and helping to create peace and joy, even in the midst of chaos. It becomes a way of life, like a diet that only works if you can stick with it long term.
Civility is what makes the most sense to me and my parents and extended family unknowingly made sure that I grew up with that. We were required to be nice to each other. Love abounded and old fashioned politeness was how things were. You didn't want to hurt each others feelings and it didn't sound right to shout at anyone - even the dog. My parents and Mom's two elder sisters (who were like grandmas to me) raised me and their kindness and care helped make me who I am.
Most recently though, I have been mentored by an amazing couple in their late 80's - dear Mary and Jack. Their lessons have really helped prepare me for the next stage of my life. Their unconditional love for and genuine interest in every individual they meet is truly life changing. Just to have someone's encouragement and confidence can make you feel strong and ready to face whatever is happening. Even since Mary has now passed away, I feel her presence strongly, telling me, "You can DO it!" With the right attitude, you can accomplish much and journey with anything. I like the thought of "journeying with" conditions rather than "fighting with". If I get a serious illness, I'd sure hate to "battle" with it. I'd rather journey with it, hoping that our paths might split down the road. It is the civil, peaceful way that leaves you better in the end.
Sooo, remember to look for the lessons of the elders in your life. They may look like they don't have much to offer, but they are a treasure trove of knowledge. Listen to them and communicate whenever you can. Oh, and if they are hard of hearing, here's something I just learned from the nurses who are taking care of Jack (he was in a car accident and is in rehab)... - just make eye contact with them and talk slower. The nurses don't raise their voices as much as they just slow down and articulate the words, allowing the person to read their lips and understand what they are saying.
I still have much to learn, but as I let these simple lessons seep in, they are already being affirmed. My five children are becoming civil adults and they bring a smile to my face and a profound sense of joy to my heart every time I see them doing their nurturing, whether it is an animal, plant, child, peer or old person, those ripples go out to create a moment of heaven for something or someone. And as Jack would say, "Does it get any better than that?"
Simply,
Mary
